today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
