oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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