He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize