Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i came on her dog
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
