i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
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Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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