There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Its about making memories worth repressing
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
