In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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