My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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