she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Apparently you make a good broom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
