dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
