i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
