Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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