The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
