Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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