I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Help. Why am I so naked?
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