I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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