Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
