He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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