Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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