so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
