how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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