Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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