worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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