i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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