i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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