false alarm. still invincible.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
