tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
