Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
