Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
