Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
