There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize