I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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