I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
