Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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