Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize