youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
handjob tips. give me some.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
