Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
