I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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