its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
