this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
