So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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