Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
