I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
