Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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