i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
