he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize