I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
