We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize