pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
