Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
