It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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