my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All I want is dick and wine.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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