Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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